By Megan Squibb Ream, LMSW
Homework can be a daily battle for many families—especially for kids with ADHD, dyslexia, dysgraphia, anxiety, or big emotions after a long school day. The truth is that most elementary-aged children are still developing attention, frustration tolerance, and executive functioning. Homework requires all three.
To make after-school time smoother, I recommend using the three pillars.
1. Structure = Predictability
Kids do better when they know exactly what comes next. A simple routine reduces resistance and helps their nervous system settle.
2. Scaffolding = Support
Scaffolding means giving the right amount of help:
- short, clear instructions
- breaking tasks into bite-sized pieces
- teacher accommodations when appropriate
- staying nearby (co-regulation matters!)
This isn’t “doing it for them”—it’s making the task doable.
3. Collaboration + Choices
Choice increases buy-in and decreases power struggles.
Examples:
- “Start with reading or math?”
- “Timer for 1 minute or 5 minutes?”
- “Break inside or outside?”
Practical Homework Tips
- Work in 10–15 minute blocks with movement/play breaks.
- Use visual timers (sand timers, kitchen timers).
- Praise any effort in the right direction.
- Use visual aids, checklists, or a wall schedule.
- Expect short work times, not long stretches.
- Keep the total workload under 20–30 minutes when possible.
Visual aids work incredibly well for children—especially neurodiverse children and neurodiverse parents.
Creating a Weekly Routine That Works
Before building a schedule, list all after-school activities (sports, therapy, clubs). This helps create a predictable rhythm.
After School:
All kids need a brain break and snack for at least 10 minutes when they get home. This is not optional—it’s regulation.
On Sports Days
Sports count as movement, sensory regulation, and emotional release.
After practice:
- Do a 5–10 minute “micro-homework” block if needed.
- Keep expectations extremely light.
On Non-Sports Days
- Home + snack + 10-minute decompression
- 5–10 minutes of movement (catch, trampoline, running, dancing)
- 10-minute homework block
- 10-minute play break
- Optional second 10-minute block
- Free play → dinner → bedtime
Kids need consistent sleep to regulate emotions. Talk to your pediatrician if sleep is challenging.
Using a Visual Schedule
Create a simple Monday–Friday chart with predictable blocks:
- Brain break + snack
- Practice / Therapy / Move body
- Homework block (10 minutes)
- Play break
- Optional second homework block
- Free play
- Dinner
- Bedtime routine
Let your child help you make this. Coloring or doodling together gives them ownership and increases follow-through.
Tips for Smoother Evenings
- Offer choices whenever possible.
- Use warm, consistent limits (see my blog post on warm boundaries).
- Validate feelings:
“Homework is boring. I get it. I’m right here to help you.” - Praise small wins:
starting, trying, asking questions, following a direction, or stopping early without a meltdown. - Stay calm and model taking breaks:
“I’m feeling worked up. I’m going to take a quick pause and come back.”
When you regulate, their nervous system regulates.